Hometown Hero Outdoors
Welcome to the Hometown Hero Outdoors Podcast, where we’re more than just a show—we’re a mission. As a non-profit dedicated to enhancing mental health through life-changing outdoor adventures for military service members, veterans, law enforcement officers, firefighters, and EMS personnel, we bring you stories of resilience, healing, and community.
🌲 Why Listen?
- Over 5,000 heroes have experienced the healing power of the outdoors with us—through activities like hunting, fishing, camping, snowmobiling, and more.
- 85% of participants report reduced stress, increased camaraderie, and a renewed sense of purpose after our adventures.
- We share inspiring stories of mental health advocacy and people overcoming the toughest challenges, highlighting the profound impact of reconnecting with nature.
Whether you’re here for thrilling outdoor adventures, meaningful conversations about mental health, or to hear from real people who’ve used the outdoors to heal and grow, this podcast has something for everyone.
🎧 Subscribe now and join us on this journey of healing, resilience, and the transformative power of the great outdoors!
Hometown Hero Outdoors
Limitless Courage: Matias Ferreira's Journey of Resilience
Can life be limitless without limbs? Matias Ferreira, a former United States Marine and a trailblazing double amputee patrolman, joins us to share his awe-inspiring journey from Uruguay to the land of opportunity. Matias recounts his harrowing experience of surviving a devastating IED explosion in Afghanistan and his phenomenal recovery at Walter Reed. His story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, illustrating how he's transformed personal tragedy into triumph through his work in law enforcement and his dedication to adaptive sports and community service.
We explore Matias's profound reflections on the events of 9/11, which shaped his path to military service. With vivid anecdotes, he paints a picture of his time in Afghanistan, the camaraderie that provided solace, and the faith that guided him through some of his darkest moments. The episode delves into the complex challenges faced by veterans, from PTSD to imposter syndrome, and underscores the critical role of support systems in overcoming these hurdles. Matias's insights extend to emotional wellness and the importance of communication in maintaining personal relationships.
Matias’s journey doesn’t stop at personal achievements; his passion for storytelling and helping others materializes through his podcast, "Another Cop's Mentality." We discuss the importance of mental health awareness, the power of sharing diverse narratives, and how he aims to create a supportive community for first responders and military personnel. With stories of resilience, compassion, and unwavering positivity, Matias inspires us to find purpose and embrace life's challenges with grace and determination. Join us for an episode filled with heart, hope, and the remarkable human capacity for growth and healing.
Produced by Phil Ewert Productions
Theme Music: Hero's Journey
Joel Loopez Tunepocket.com
Licensed by: Phil Ewert Productions
hometownherooutdoors.org
In the land of 10,000 lakes, a remarkable movement was born. Welcome to Hometown Hero Outdoors. We are dedicated to honoring our military service members, veterans and first responders by providing them with unforgettable outdoor recreational opportunities. We believe those who have served and sacrificed so much for our country and communities deserve a chance to reclaim their spirit and find healing in the great outdoors. This is Hometown Hero Outdoors. Welcome to the Hometown Hero Outdoors Podcast.
Speaker 2:Here is your host, chris Tatro. Hello everyone, welcome back to the Hometown Hero Outdoors podcast here with Matias Herrera. I am excited to have him today. Him and I have had a lot of back and forth regarding getting him on the podcast and I'm honored to have you here today, and I'm just going to give everyone a little rundown of your background here.
Speaker 2:So Matias, an immigrant from Montevideo, uruguay, moved to Atlanta, georgia, with his mom, dad and two brothers in 1996 in pursuit of the American dream. In 9-11, 2001, matias was sitting in 7th grade science class as he watched the Twin Towers collapse on TV, not realizing that his goal to become a United States Marine was going to become a reality a lot sooner than he thought. Upon graduating from Morrow Senior High School in 2007, matias joined the United States Marine Corps as a machine gunner assigned to the 1st Battalion 8th Marines 2nd Marine Division, stationed at Camp Lejeune, north Carolina. During a combat tour, an operation enduring freedom, to the Helmet Province, afghanistan in 2010, matias stepped on an IED, an improvised explosive device, causing him to lose both of his legs below the knees, amongst other injuries. Matias has been awarded the Purple Heart Combat Action Ribbon, a Navy Unit Citation, amongst other military awards During a year and a half of rehabilitation at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, matias completed in numerous races to include the Navy 5-Miler Army, 10-miler Marine Corps Marathon, detroit Marathon, new York City Marathon, disney Marathon, several others.
Speaker 2:Man Matias is also part of the Wounded Warrior Amputee Softball Team that competes all year around against the military, first responders and celebrity teams, spreading the message that with life without limbs is limitless. Matthias enjoys volunteering with numerous non-profits organizations that focus on rehabilitation, empowering new normals and renewing your faith. Most of these non-profit organizations are involved with adaptive sports, military veterans, children and physical disabilities and law enforcement officers. Matthias ferreira is currently an active police officer with the Suffolk. Did I say that right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, Suffolk.
Speaker 2:Suffolk County Police Department in Suffolk.
Speaker 3:Yeah, suffolk New York, suffolk County New York.
Speaker 2:There you go, making the first double amputee patrolman in the country. That's amazing. Matias worked in the first precinct town of Babylon on day tours and midnight tours on patrol for several years and he was asked to transfer to the community relations bureau to assist in bettering the relationship between communities and the police. After spending some time in that unit, matias transferred to the police academy recruit training section and as an instructor, instructing drill and ceremonies and teaching numerous topics. Thank you, sir. Thanks for being here.
Speaker 3:No thanks for having me, man. I love that video you got going on. It got me all motivated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we got a good production crew that's done some pretty good stuff and actually the editor of our podcast, our production guy Phil, he does the voiceover for that. But more about you. So Marine Corps, marine corps, now, you know, with an amputee being a police officer and you're very involved in the community and you're a family man at that. So I appreciate you being on the podcast, taking time to be here and telling your story I appreciate you having me.
Speaker 3:Man, without the uh, without the platform, you know you can't get the stories across. So, uh, I'm glad you're doing this it's great.
Speaker 2:And so you, straight from the get go. In your bio you said that you migrated here or an immigrant, and you came from Uruguay.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, my family, my family was all born there. You know, my mom, my dad, my two brothers and my mom's brother lived in the United States Atlanta, georgia and they used to visit back and forth to go see her parents. You know her brother and and their family and and just about the years they were like, why don't you guys move here to pursue the American dream? Now, mind you, this is before you know 9-11. So it was very easy to get, you know, a student visa, to get a working visa and whatnot. So we did, we picked up everything and just moved to the United States.
Speaker 2:Do you remember that experience? Quite a bit then.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know, I was pretty young, I was like seven, eight years old and I remember just getting on a plane for the first time and you'd never experienced that. It's not like here, where you pick up your kids and you go to Disney for the week or travel whatever. For us this was like wow, we're getting on a, a plane which I don't think I've even seen a plane for the first time until I got on one. Um, and I just remember being so excited when the when the plane took off. You know, when you go back into your seat it's a ride um, so everything was brand new. You know, we didn't have much, uh, growing up. So moving to the united states and having that opportunity to have our own bedroom and have our own clothes and have to share everything was just incredible.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's cool. No, that's a. That's a big move, especially a big decision for parents with young children. That's a. I'm sure having some family here probably helped that decision though, but even even for your relatives that were here too, I mean, that's a big decision for them to make. Were they the first that had moved to the country then?
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, you know, my uncle had been living here since he was a teenager and so my mom used to come up and visit my dad and they saw the lifestyle here. It was like, wow, you know, you're able to walk in the street, go to school, work and not have to worry about violence, not have to worry about getting mugged or, you know, your house burglarized or robbed on the street. You know, and the kids, a lot of the, you know, the youth, unfortunately end up going into drugs and gangs and whatever else, and of course we have that here. But when it's such a smaller country and such a smaller amount of people, you know, it's like, I don't know, it's like one to three million people in Uruguay, I mean.
Speaker 2:I live on Long.
Speaker 3:Island. There's like five million people on Long Island just by themselves.
Speaker 2:So it's a very different perspective.
Speaker 3:People on Long Island just by themselves, so it's a very different perspective. But, yeah, I mean my parents to make that decision, to give us a better life and give us the opportunity to live. The way we live now is just something that you know. I look back and I thank them every day for.
Speaker 2:No, that's an amazing story and you know you don't hear that story as much as you. I mean, there are still a lot of immigrants and immigration that does occur here, you know, and but you just it's not as frequent where you get to meet a family that you know kind of started their life off here in the most recent decades anyway. Well, that's pretty exciting. And then so you got into the school system. How was that transition like? What did that feel like? Was that just kind of a mind blowing thing?
Speaker 3:they say that it's it's easier to learn when you're younger. So I think that, looking back now, I remember going into, like, I know I think the classes are called something different now, but it used to be esol. You know, and used to sit in this class. They teach you how to write, to read, to speak english and, um, you know, we're going to school and and pretty much learning how to do all these things, and in the midst of all this, we're also getting involved in sports, uh, getting involved in other activities. So obviously the language barrier is a little easier to get past. And then, before you know it, it's just a lifestyle. You know, just typical kids going to school, you know, playing sports, coming home, doing homework and before you know, you're 35 years old, your own kids no, and it goes so fast and the kids grow up too.
Speaker 2:So the next thing you know you'll be a grandfather and I'm probably not that well, hopefully a little further away from that.
Speaker 3:But yeah, yeah, my daughter's already 10 years old. So I I look at some people you know having children in their late teens or early 20s and I'm like, oh my god, that's right around the corner. So I don't think of that no, it's.
Speaker 2:That's mean I absolutely love my kids and I'll look forward to being grandparents someday, but, dang, it's going to come too fast. That's the only thing.
Speaker 3:That's all right. It's part of life.
Speaker 2:It is. It is so now we're going to go forward to the 9-11. I mean, obviously, that was a huge and tragic moment in the United States. You know, and you obviously experienced that and it did something you know to your core as well. You know where were you living at the time when that happened.
Speaker 3:So I was living in Atlanta, georgia, you know, I was like seventh, eighth grade and it's funny because now I live in New York. So it's a different perspective. When I speak to all my friends, my colleagues and now some of the recruits that go through the program, they don't, they weren't even alive. So that's kind of mind blowing in itself. I wanted to be in the military ever since I was a little kid. So for me, you know, I know it's not the same anymore. But growing up, you know, kids wanted to be cops, lawyers, firemen, fighter jet pilots, you know stuff like that. And now obviously people want to do different things.
Speaker 3:But, um, I just had like a really cool experience when I was younger with a military uh man in uniform during the olympics in 96 and I just couldn't get that gentleman out of my head. You know he's wearing his dress blues, he's all decked out in medals and I was like I'm gonna be that one day. And after 9-11 it just seemed right that, um, I kind of knew I wanted to go in the military. And what better reason to go than for fight for our freedom?
Speaker 3:And a lot of people, unfortunately, we take that, I take it for granted at times, you know you travel the world, even when it's to the most beautiful places in the world, and you realize like, wow, we really have it good here. You know, my wife and I just came back from Greece. One of my friends got married there and it was beautiful. But when we went into Athens, we went to Athens, mykonos and Santorini. The lifestyle is just different. It's a lot slower-paced. Just something that I remember laughing at myself was you have to wipe your bum and then you put the toilet paper in a little baggie and throw it in the trash.
Speaker 3:Oh wow, rather than throw it in the toilet. It's just little things like that that you're like what you got to put the what and where, like what you got to put the wet and wear, and uh, and it just makes you realize, like, how blessed we are to have, uh, good plumbing and water and you know lifestyle, I think, necessities, like even water bottles. You know it's like you, you can't get water like you do here. You go into a hotel and you have two in the fridge and whatever else there you have to go looking for these things. So, um, it just seemed like it was appropriate. You know, to go fight in a war where I thought it was going to make a difference. You know, in our country's life. What year did you enlist? Then I went in 2008 when I did all of the MEP stuff and I processed to go to bootcamp in 2009. And that was Camp Lejeune. Camp Lejeune, north Carolina. I went through, uh, paris Island for boot camp and then I was stationed in Lejeune.
Speaker 2:Okay, cool, yeah. And then how did you come about picking your military career? Like what exactly? I mean, you wanted to end up going into the infantry right away, is that?
Speaker 3:what it was. So the funny thing is I talked to all my Marines all the time and we all laugh about how our ASVAB score was so low. You know, and for the people that don't know what an ASVAB is, it's just an exam that preps you to go into the military and based on what you score is kind of the opportunities you have for the workforce, right. So if you have like a ninety, nine or one hundred, you can be pretty much anything you want to be in, any branch of the services. If you have, I think 30 is passing. I think I scored like a thirty two, you know not me too man.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's like, all right, great, you know, I'm going infantry. So lucky for me. That's kind of what I wanted to do from the get go. But when you sign up, typically they tell you all the jobs you can do and I said, hey, I want to go 0300, which in the Marine Corps is infantry. And then once you graduate boot camp they send you to SOI, you know, school infantry and then you kind of go off your different branches of machine gunner, mortar men, assault men or basic riflemen and, um, I guess at the time there was a lot of openings for machine gunner and I was a buck 60 and I was 160 pounds, uh, six foot one.
Speaker 3:They were like you machine gunner. I was like, oh my god, how am I supposed to carry this thing? I mean the whole machine gun. My deuce, you know, m250 Cal is with a 30 to 45 pound tripod by itself. Then the receiver is like another 35 pounds and you got the barrel, which is like whatever, 20. And I might be exaggerating this number. Has been a long time since I've carried it, but altogether you're looking at carrying a 75 pound system when you break it down and you have to move from one place to another when you don't have vehicles, because I was in a line platoon, which means that we were carrying all of our equipment with us. You know we didn't have the trucks to mount any of this stuff, and not to mention the ammo, you know. So now you're carrying all these systems and I'm like dude, I'm a buck 60, like six one, what am I? Where's the 200 plus people that can carry this stuff? And you know, not many people in the military that are big boys like we are now, you know.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, and I feel you on the ASVAB. I was a tanker, so my, my, my score was like, yeah, you can drive a tank and I was like I didn't have to carry around all that stuff, though I got to drive it.
Speaker 3:There you go. That's a blessing in disguise, right there.
Speaker 2:You know now, everyone, everyone has a very key role in what they do.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker 2:So then you ended up going through that. At that point in time, were you still living in the Georgia area?
Speaker 3:I was. I was active duty, so I was stationed in Lejeune and I was living in North Carolina and Jacksonville and after getting there, maybe like three months later, the guys that were serving in my unit in one eight8 they were in I believe it was ramadi iraq and they were. We missed that deployment fight, I don't know a couple weeks. So by the time they came back we'd already gotten kind of comfortable. We're like not really doing much, you know, maybe cleaning around the barracks and no real missions, classroom stuff, whatever. And when these guys get back they're a little salty and they're like where are my boots at? Where are my boots? You know they got you doing all the stuff, um, but you know we were told as soon as they got back, guys, you got like nine months and then you're gonna be deploying afghanistan. So we were like nine months, how the hell am I gonna learn how to do my job in nine months to get deployed into a combat war zone as a you know, punk ass, 19 year old?
Speaker 2:you know right, yeah, you get thrown right into it right away. Oh yeah, that's crazy. So then you did your deployment, and then you ended up going to Afghanistan.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, I'm in Afghanistan and it's crazy because I tell my friends I'm like man when, when I 11 happened, we were in high school you know, middle school going to high school and we were wishing we could be there to fight the bad guys and fight the Taliban and ISIS and this and that. And when I got to Afghanistan it was September of 2010. So I remember it was like September 4th and then all of a sudden, a couple of days passed by and we're looking at each other. I'm like it's 9-11. Dude, like not even 10 years ago we had talked about being here and here we are, like walking. It was such a surreal feeling, you know, to be in Afghanistan, just not that much time later.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, that's kind of surreal, that's for sure, you know. I think that that, well, obviously there's a very significant time in the history of the United States, but also for a lot of our journey, as the people who did join. You know and I just got the opportunity to go to the where the plane crashed in Pennsylvaniasylvania and flight 97, you know and um, being able to look at some of that stuff and uh, and be able to stand up the memories of the individuals who did give their lives on the things that happened in 9-11 and really looking back at our lives when, when 9-11 did happen, and seeing where we did and what we sacrificed and what they sacrificed, really brings a full circle, you know, and I imagine you being in new york now and being able to go to the 9-11 memorial was pretty, pretty moving for you yeah, I went um, they were doing the marathons and whatever else is.
Speaker 3:so I went back, I don't know, like eight years ago for the first time and when they were building, um, the new freedom tower, I remember they had let a group of wounded warriors go up to one of the floors and I remember I was just kind of like sitting there with my head down, like just praying and thinking about you know, that day and whatever. Whatever had happened and um, and somebody took a picture of me, you know, with my head down and I was wearing like a yankee fitted hat, and I just just looked back and I go, what were Americans thinking that day? You know like what, just regular, everyday people are just walking down the street looking around and all of a sudden, bam, you know, planes going into towers. I can't even imagine what those people felt like. You know, and I've heard some people, I've met some pretty incredible people after my injury because of you know the way things work and volunteer work and this and that, and you hear their stories and it's like they didn't really sign up for that.
Speaker 3:You know, they were just going to work, they were going to visit, they were going on a joy ride. You know, I signed up for that. I signed up to go overseas and I kind of knew what I was signing up for. These people were just living their life, you know. So I can't imagine just every single day you go home and you go to work and I talk about this in my mental health podcast, about autopilot, how we're an autopilot. How many people do you think were looking down at their phone or maybe reading a magazine, or getting in a car or whatever and just driving and they were like like did a second look? You know, like what? What was that? You know, I remember getting in trouble when I was in school because I thought it was a sick joke. Not being from new york, being in atlanta and watching these planes hit the towers, you're just like what is that? You know, what kind of sick joke is that?
Speaker 2:so, um, right, you know it's, it's definitely, uh, it's definitely surreal, you know absolutely yeah, and I mean, and you think about the culmination of everything that happened too, and then all of a sudden you're in afghanistan and then you encounter a life altering situation yourself. Want to talk about that?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So you know my, my whole goal in Afghanistan as you probably know are a lot of veterans that listen to the show was operating in modern freedom, right. So our goal was to go there and clear the Taliban forces, win the hearts and minds of people and just help out. And clear the Taliban forces, win the hearts and minds of the people and just help out. Now for the veterans that are listening, you know, a lot of us have kind of understood that our goal in a war zone was really just to follow instructions. You know, follow orders, do what we're told. And it was just a job. You know, it's like going to work at Taco Bell, it's like going to work at a school, like it's nothing different. Of course we take it a little bit more personable, a little bit more prideful because we're doing a job that not many people want to go, and at that time I don't think any of us really wanted if we knew the severity of it and we knew what was going on, how we really wanted to go for the amount of money that we were making. You know a lot of people that were there were there because they had some kind of passion in their heart to give back back to their country. Not the mission, not what we were doing in Afghanistan, you know. So my purpose was, as a machine gunner, is just to set over watch for our guys. We'd clear the streets, we would clear IEDs, we would help people that would build schools and wells, and of course, the Taliban would come and blow everything up. So there were times where you'd be sitting there at night going, what the are we doing? You know, what are we doing here? What is our goal? What is our mission? What's the purpose? You definitely ask why. A lot, some people that go back and back and back and back from deployment to deployment to deployment. I think it becomes more of a lifestyle. It's kind of like your boys are out there. It's kind of what you know how to do, you're good at it. I know I know a lot of, at least in the Marine Corps. You know you got one or two ship bags here and there, but for the most part everybody there is pretty squared away, you know, and ready to go.
Speaker 3:So we were clearing this compound. One day, you know, we'd been told that Taliban were lacing IEDs in this area and so we picked up all our stuff again on a foot patrol. We went down across a wadi of uh, which is like a open land of water, but there's no water, it's all dried up, desert. And we get to the compound. We have three elements an entry team, an overwatch team and a capture team. And so, of course, the guys kicked down the door, clear, clear, clear, you know. They're clearing the whole compound with detectors and a dog and uh, so I took my team you you know which was, you know a couple of different, a couple of guys can't remember how many guys there was, but we were a team and they said the captain was like you guys are gonna go on the roof.
Speaker 3:So we watched for the night and the morning, when I wake up and start, you know, doing patrols, he said 10, four, you know. We started putting the tripods up and putting the machine guns up and guys were taking their bags off and getting a little comfortable for the night. And it's crazy because I just remember, you know, and I've told the story a million times now and it's like the more I tell it, the more I remember some details, but I just remember us going up into this little, this little roof, you know, because that's how we were going to get to see over the walls and we all went up the same way. I came down, except that when I went up we all kind of walked up and when I jumped off the roof being about 160 plus the vest, the helmet, the gun, the this that I must have been like you know, whatever 200 pounds let's call it I jumped off and I landed on a 30 pound IED. That was already in the ground and the pressure plate was kind of dug in a little deeper because it rained a couple of days before.
Speaker 3:So all I remember is just kind of being upside down on my back and everything just ringing. I mean, the movie's got it pretty good. It's like that pin drop. The pin drop is, like you know, pretty much my ears going off with tinnitus and I just see these little lights flickering back and forth and I have guys tell me like, hey, man, stay put, we're going to take care of you and honestly, I didn't really know the extent of my injury at the time. So all you hear is the nine-line medevac being called out. You know, bravo, mike Foxtrot. 7229-er. You know, da-da-da. And all of a sudden, within what seemed like a couple minutes, a helicopter was coming in and they're putting me in the litter, carrying me on to the helicopter and you know the. The rest is history.
Speaker 3:Um, when I got to germany because we go from the combat zone to bargram, which is a local hospital, and then from there they take you to germany where there's more stabilized hospital facility, good doctors and you know whatever else, a little bit more sanitary oh, they started doing surgery and I woke up and I remember looking down and I was like you know, both my legs are gone and, uh, you know I had my broken pelvis, shattered femur, it was just a lot. The bomb had really, you know, took a hit, especially as I was on a rooftop, um, but I honestly I was just it's crazy because, looking back now, like my biggest thing has always been faith you know religion and I know we question it a lot and whatever but I just kept looking up, going like god, if you out of here, like, I'll do whatever it is that you want me to do. You know I was like I get to go home and that was really a pivotal point for me to go. Hey, you know I got work to do now.
Speaker 2:Were you fairly religious before you joined the military?
Speaker 3:I've always been, you know, church goer. You know, not like religiously going to church every single Sunday, but we did. I prayed, I read the Bible, I talked about faith, you know, but not like I do now. I definitely was already set up for success, you know. I believe that. You know Jesus was my Lord and Savior. I knew who God was and my family always kind of talked about it. So for me I felt like I was a little bit more prepared than most, because I think religion, unfortunately, is dying in today's society because we forced, or we were forced, as children to go to church and now as adults, a lot of people kind of go I don't have time, you know, I don't have time. I have sports, I have this, I have that, and then we don't pick up a Bible anymore because nobody goes to the bookstore anymore, nobody reads books. That's what it appears. Of course I know people read books. I'm just talking about from a blanket statement back then.
Speaker 3:But I remember that when you're deployed you don't have much else to think about or talk about. So I used to sit on post with my buddy Kelsey and we used to talk about the Bible, you know. We used to talk about God and what's going to happen, and we used to talk about the Bible. You know, we used to talk about God and what's going to happen. God forbid. Because you know you're 18, 19, 20 years old and you're seeing your buddies die or get hurt.
Speaker 3:So all you do is you hope that it doesn't happen to you. You know you just pray, like please God, like get me through this, give me the strength. You know, whatever I mean, I'd lost a lot of guys to. You know know lighter IEDs, 10 pounds, 5 pounds, and losing eyes and arms and everything else. To me, I stepped on a 20 pound bomb and all I lost is like my shins down. You know that's I know to other people who are like only your shins down, yeah, but to me, a guy who knows people have lost everything up to the hips and stuff with a 10 pound bomb, like I'm very fortunate, I'm very blessed to be alive no, well, I'm glad you're still here, man, be able to tell and share your story.
Speaker 2:And you know, looking back at that day when that happened, you know, and you're talking about the sensations, the, the different things you experience. You know, the explosion, the ringing, the, the lights, you know. Do you really recall feeling much else beyond that, like was there a shearing pain or?
Speaker 3:it wasn't until later on where I started feeling the pain in my pelvis, like I, the legs they hurt, and you know it was kind of like a pain of like if you drop the 50 pound dumbbell on your leg, like you know, you have some throbbing pain.
Speaker 3:What people kind of are confused about is phantom pain and nerve damage. So the phantom pain is in the beginning, right when you feel like your legs are still there, so you still got an itch or you still get like a cramp or whatever, and throughout time it's more nerve damage, right where your nerves are kind of like firing off but they don't have anything to respond. So throughout time the the more pain that I felt was in my midsection, on my pelvis and my pelvis separated, so they had to put x-fix to put the pelvis back together because I was non-weight bearing so I couldn't even stand up. When they gave me prosthetics I had to wait like three, four months for this bone to heal and then that's when I was starting to, you know, do physical therapy and get back into it so they transport you out of iraq and typically they go to germany and then from there to walter reed.
Speaker 2:You know and've I've had a handful of friends that have been in the Walter Reed before and everyone has a little bit of a different experience, you know. So talk left for the average listener who is, you know, obviously does not know somebody who has been through Walter Reed, you know what was your experience there and what exactly like what was their. Obviously know what their purpose is is to get you better, but what did that experience seem like for you? Or that journey? I mean, that's a long road.
Speaker 3:It is a long road, but I'll tell you this and, especially looking back now, I question so many things that happen in life and the older I get, obviously they say, the more wisdom you get. Looking back, I've always had a pretty positive outlook on life and I'm optimistic about things that happen, that you're just like you know you want to be upset at the world and God and your family and whoever. But looking back, like I was treated like like a God. You know I was treated like with so much respect and like oh my God, thank you for your service and stuff. Like look, let's be honest, you know I'm not trying to say that I have imposter syndrome, but you feel like what the hell did I really do? You know I survived. Okay, great, You're a survivor, let's call you that, but I'm no hero. Like heroes are people like Kyle Carpenter that knew what the hell they were doing. They jump on top of a grenade to save people's lives. You have, you know, dakota Myers. These guys have these incredible stories of things that they did, that they pursued, you know, danger for safety of others. So for me, I'm very blessed that I'm alive and I'm very grateful that people look up to my story and whatever happened. But I know that that was meant for me. You know what happened was meant for me and I'm using it, you know, for positivity for others who are going through difficult times in a physical aspect, because there's so much more than a physical injury that goes on in military service members. You know there's guys who I love dearly, that are, you know, not amputees, that don't have anything physically wrong with them, but are dealing with a lot of anxiety, depression, ptsd, alcoholism. You know they depend on drugs and I've had I'm sure you've had as well numerous suicides, overdoses, and you get one, like every year or every other year or a couple of year and you go. What the hell is going on, you know.
Speaker 3:And for me, like I've had the support where people see my injury, you know, and they go dude thanks for your service and like a part of my subconscious is like almost affirming that, wow, what I did was worth it. But imagine our brothers and sisters who get deployed or do, let's say, time in service, never deployed. It still takes a toll on you, on your body, on your life, monetarily, physically, emotionally, spiritually. So I kind of struggled with that for a long time in the more recent years because my experience, again for the physical aspect, people were there to fix the boo-boo. I have no legs, so what do they do? They let me heal and they give me prosthetics. Then other people inspire me to walk, to run and to be involved with so many different organizations playing softball, skydiving, teaching kids. That gives somebody like me a purpose.
Speaker 3:But what about the people that went through what I went through, like you were saying, and maybe didn't have a physical injury and going through Walt Reed as a wounded warrior battalion in the Marine Corps and are dealing with PTSD or dealing with other things? Listen, these injuries, physical or emotionally, are not life threatening. Ending right Like people with PTSD recover. People with anxiety recover. People with depression recover. People with suicidal thoughts, ideologies, who have been on the brink of jumping off the bridge recover.
Speaker 3:Those are triggering things for me. You know I don't know if you put something in your podcast. I tried to let people know that some of these topics can be triggering. But you know, having intrusive thoughts is something that people don't even know until they're older. You know, the last couple of years I got deep into it because I was like what is going on? Why am I having such negative thoughts or so many negative moments in my life where it's like, well, I have a child, I'm married, I have a car, I have a home. I'm grateful for all these things. But why do I feel like this deep emotion? It's because in the military, we shove everything down, we shove these nasty, but nobody wants to feel sad.
Speaker 3:This happens to everybody, though. This happens to regular, everyday people. It doesn't have to be just combat veterans, it doesn't have to be firemen, police officers, and that's what I kind of talk about in my podcast with mental health is that when you have somebody going through something and you're able to see it, it's almost easier to treat. But when you have something you can't explain, it's almost impossible. And if the person doesn't share that information, it's a double whammy, because they don't know how to explain it to you or they're not willing to try to articulate what they're feeling or what they're thinking or what they're going through, and then it becomes difficult. So when you had people like that at Walter Reed we're walking you through these things I think that's kind of was.
Speaker 3:My culprit of success is that I had people to show me the way. I had people like hey, we're going to give you prosthetics. You're going to learn to walk, then you're going to learn to run and then we're going to help you go up and downstairs, cause that's difficult. You're learning to relive your life, you know, but again, I wouldn't have been able to do the things that I did or do now if it wasn't for people who had done it before me. So, um, honestly, I have the outmost respect for my OTs, you know, my occupational therapist, my PTs, my doctors, my nurses, the people who helped me, the nonprofit organizations that are out there helping veterans like you and I kind of get back into the rhythm of things, whether it's financial help or whatever. You know that's what we're all here doing. There's no competition. We're just all trying to get as many resources as possible for for people out there who are going through it.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, totally. And to piggyback on some of what you said you know just because you went through that situation doesn't mean your story's over. It doesn't mean that you can't overcome that and you cannot move forward. And you decided not to let that overcome you and you did decide to move forward. You know, you're a veteran who's a double amputee and now being the first double amputee police officer in the United States. That's absolutely phenomenal and that is not an easy feat. So there's been a lot of mental challenges that have come along with that too. Do you want to talk about a little bit of those?
Speaker 3:Absolutely so. I apologize. My little dog's barking in the background. You're good to go, chloe. Come here. Chloe. This is what I got to deal with. This is how I learned how to have patience. I have a one-year-old golden retriever. I got two cats and a Morky who just turned 11 and she's she's the psycho of the of the household, um, and she's actually helped me uh, learn how to deal with with more of my patients. I'm very low on patients, as many uh people uh go through it in the military.
Speaker 3:Um, so for me, the, the, the mental aspect of it. We have so many people in bootcamp and school and deployments that help us kind of go through the physical aspect of it and at the same time, we're so naive to call it mental strength, right, like, oh, you got yelled at and you got screamed at and you got pushed against the wall and you learn how to have discipline. But really it was only because we were scared as hell of our platoon leaders or our superiors, and you know, following instructions and doing what we're told If you don't listen to me, you're going to end up getting killed, and you know. So you just kind of follow the instructions that you're being given, but then you get out of the military and so you're so used to following a platoon leader, a platoon commander or whatever it is that you have leading you, and then you're by yourself. You know and these are stories that I've kind of dealt with myself and things that I've heard from my fellow veterans and law enforcement officers and whatever else is that when you're operating on your own and you weren't taught these things at a younger age, you're going to struggle. You're going to struggle because we get so egotistical, you know, and cynical that we think that we're above everything else. You know, we're going to combat and we've seen our buddies getting blown up and going through a lot of trauma and we're like, ah, that can't happen to us. And we walk around like Hercules or Superman, you know, and we're some of us are praying God, please don't let that happen to me, but you're in a combat zone, so you can't blame anybody for the worst that's inevitable to come. We're just very blessed that we go there and a lot of people do come back without any physical injuries.
Speaker 3:But when you start dealing with certain things like anxiety or sadness, depression, fear, whatever emotion you want to talk about and we've never really talked about it. It is very frightful that you're going through these things and you don't want to ask for help. You don't want to reach out because you don't want to like the crazy person, you don't want to look like you know you're losing your mind, or that veteran with PTSD or whatever else. Ptsd stands for post-traumatic stress disorder, right, and they try to take the D out of it and make it post-traumatic stress and whatever else. But the more I go through life, I meet people who've never gone to war zones or have not responded to 911 calls and they have things that kind of have to go through with Post Traumatic Stress too.
Speaker 3:You know, like you get in a car accident, all right. And if you go in this car accident now, every time you get in the car you're kind of scared. You know you're scared that you're going to get in a car accident again. Or if something happens with your kids, you know you're scared that's going to happen again, you know. So the way that we overcome these things is by doing what you and I are doing talking about it. Hey, man, lately I have been able to sleep or I've been feeling down like have you ever gone through that? And then you're gonna go.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man, it happened to me when I was 19. Or what happened to me when I was 25. Or it happened to me when I had my first kid. It came out of nowhere. This is an emotion.
Speaker 3:Look, we push away therapists, right? I started seeing a therapist and they broke down how the mind works, how the body works, what the fight or flight really means. All right, and then I was able to understand like, oh, is that that feeling that I have in my gut, or is that why I'm not sleeping? Or is that why I'm sweating? Or is that why my whatever's going on physiologically, my body and the mental health stuff is scary, because you think about, you know things happening to you and you don't want to talk about it because you don't want people to go. Oh god, there's matt, you know he's got anxiety, like you know, and the more we're learning a lot about it because, like, regular people are coming out and talking about their fears, you know, and a lot of like what kids are going through. So when, when these kids are going through stuff, like as an adult, I feel like I owe it to my daughter, who's 10 years old and is starting to go to school and getting bullied or people are calling her names. And now she comes home and she looks in the mirror and she's like I'm ugly.
Speaker 3:And you start like almost getting in that mindset of everything is negative. You know so, when you're constantly focusing on the negative, unfortunately they say that's what comes to life is the negative. But when you constantly focus on the positive, no matter how difficult things are in the moment, then you're able to kind of work towards the light, right, you're able to kind of get through that negative emotion. And how do we do that? What you're doing, what you're promoting, is the, the whole outdoors theme getting outdoors, walking, getting a fresh air, getting sunlight. You know you can find this stuff on social media, everywhere. You know most people are trying to promote the right thing. Am I saying that you know light is going to fix your depression? No, am I saying that going to the gym is going to fix your anxiety? No, but you becoming aware what these things are, it kind of you're helping yourself develop better, better habits which are kind of good in the moment, because when they're in the military you're exercising these things without even knowing it. You're working out, you're in a team group effort. You're doing the best you can with positivity. You have this brotherhood. There's a lot of good things going on, but at the same time, looking back, you're developing bad things too.
Speaker 3:The alcohol, alcohol is surrounding everything in law enforcement, the military and first responders. Drugs Guys are kind of getting the drugs. Why, in my perspective, it's to kind of drown a lot of those feelings, drown a lot of those emotions and we could talk about it. That's what we say in my podcast. Talk about it. You know, why did you start doing drugs? Okay, it started out with some marijuana, great. Why are you doing cocaine? And why are you freaking injection, injecting other things? And why are you doing this? And why are you drinking a freaking liter of vodka on a on a Tuesday night? You know cause? A lot of people don't know how to like. You know, because a lot of people don't know how to like, you know, cope with some of those, those nasty feelings. You know. So the more we talk about it, the easier it gets.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's definitely something.
Speaker 2:I've been in therapy too, you know, and it's nothing to be ashamed of, you know, and therapy is a good thing and it helps you process those thoughts and feelings and the experiences you've had and being able to, like you said, talk about the things. It's huge, you know, and I'm glad you guys are doing a podcast too. You know, you have a whole different world of perspective and the things you've been through and the successes and the failures, and if we don't share those, it's not going to help anyone at all and we have to, you know it's, it's we have to look out for our peers and our colleagues that have been through something same or similar. Nothing's going to be the same experience, but if we're not sharing that information or sharing our experiences with each other, it's definitely going to make life a lot harder and then, ultimately, some of these individuals succumb to those issues, and that's when we have the suicide numbers and those rates got to come down, and the only way we're going to do that is by sharing. We got to share, share, share.
Speaker 3:Honestly, I still. I struggle with that because typically what you hear is that guy was such a good dude, that guy was a family man, that guy had kids, he was married, he had a good job, he had a good career, he was always smiling. You know and I know it sounds stupid and call it what you want, but Robin Williams always used to say somebody who went through depression and everything else too you got to worry about the guys who are pretending to be happy, not sad. You know, people don't fake sadness, they fake happiness, right. I think I got that right.
Speaker 3:And I look back and as a kid I never thought Robin Williams did drugs. I never thought Robin Williams did, you know, was an alcoholic. I never thought of those things but the guy was the funniest SOB that I've ever heard, you know, and you're like whoa. Like you know, you don't think about the things that that person might've gone through in their life and there's documentaries about it and you read books about those people and it makes you feel like, wow, how horrible is it that when you learn a little bit about yourself and what serotonin is and what these hormones are and why people do drugs, can you imagine being the funniest guy in the room and then, when you're not in the room, you're not funny anymore and nobody's there to laugh at your jokes and nobody's there to, you know, make you feel like you're on top of the world. How in the world do you get to those levels of? Is it serotonin? Is that what I think that's what it is serotonin, the happy hormone. How do you meet those expectations of the drugs and the people and the crowd you know think this is what they say.
Speaker 3:I'm not trying to miss spread information. They said some of the people that kill themselves are the happy people in the world. Comedians, right? Robin williams and other people? Um, you look at people who succumb to addiction, you know, with drugs and alcohol. It's like why were they drinking so much? Why would? Because, let's be honest, I can't. I can't remember how old you are. I am 40. 40 years old, right? How bad is a freaking hangover now?
Speaker 3:Oh terrible, Absolutely terrible I have three high noons and I'm out for like two days.
Speaker 3:When I was younger, I could have a few drinks and party till four or five o'clock in the morning, get up at six and go to work. You know, now you have kids crying, you got to go to work and whatever. I don't want to drink anymore. My wife and I rarely drink, you know. I much rather have like a Coca-Cola and eat a whole pie, watch a movie, fall asleep on the couch, wake up and go to the gym, and even then that's hard, you know. So imagine having to drink yourself to sleep.
Speaker 3:Like I don't think that's enjoyable, I think that's kind of a cry for help sometimes, you know, not to mention, it's expensive as hell and it hurts it's. If you're, if you're an intelligent human being, you're going to go. Hey, alcohol is good to a certain extent, I guess you know. Maybe a glass of wine or you know a drink here and there is not going to kill you. But when you're having enough alcohol to put out a whole football team, you know I don't think that person is doing it because they enjoy drinking. Don't get me wrong. I have a few drinks and I'm a little bit more, not that I need any more. Uh, comfort to be social.
Speaker 3:As you can tell I love talking um I love meeting new people, you know, and having a few drinks does take the edge off, but people that are doing doing drugs and alcohol on an everyday basis, to the point where they're going to sleep from it. It's like, man, we should have done better. We should have done better to be there for them, to ask them certain questions like hey man, what are you thinking about? Are you scared of those thoughts? Are you scared of something happening to you? Why are you trying to drown it out? You're always listening to music very loud. You know you're always having to be around people. You're always, you know, or then the people that are by themselves all the time I'm like, hey, how are you doing? Why don't you want to come out? So it's like a weird concept, but typically you can fill people out, you know, and you go.
Speaker 3:Hey, man, I want you to know that the biggest thing I've heard in the last five years is you are not alone, and I hate that saying because I think it's misconstrued as to what you are not alone means. You're not alone doesn't mean, in my opinion, you're by yourself and nobody's here for you. You are not alone to me means hey, I've been through that, I know somebody who's been through that and you're going to be okay, and I know it's difficult and I too have had those those hard days. And you know who I learned from my grandma. Like my grandpa, I've talked to older people who, when I explain these things, they start laughing and I'm like what the f**k is so funny? This is scary, like what.
Speaker 3:I've had, these thoughts where I've done this or I've done that, and, and they go oh, like, and my grandma's? You know, we're Spanish, so it's a Spanish thing. I'm a heat though. You're like oh, son, you know she's having to deal with that for 86 years. And you know, you're like why didn't nobody tell me about this, right? You know, why didn't anybody explain to me these emotions and the things that we have as we get older? It's difficult.
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Speaker 2:Visit them at RelentlessDefendercom what it actually means, and I think that's a very good point, especially for the listeners who may be not able to relate. You know we do have listeners to the podcast that may have not served, or you know, but though it doesn't take away from the fact that you may have gone through something in your personal life too, outside of the service that says that you didn't, there's people who get PTSD that do not serve.
Speaker 3:I preach that to everybody. I heard something incredible from my pastor. He says comparison is the death of gratitude, right. So when you are too busy comparing your life to other people, you're constantly going to put yourself down Like why does my life suck so bad? Why do I have to go through this? Why, why me, why why? And it's like hold on a second Dude.
Speaker 3:And I talk to my cousin about this all the time. She was a big, you know, positive light in my eyes when I started going through a lot of my mental struggles, right. She used to be like, hey, you know, and I look at her and I go what the hell could possibly be wrong with her? She's beautiful, intelligent, smart, has money, like life, is good, not a veteran, not police. And she's like oh, every time I see dogs, I am anxious and I go into like a, like a ball, and I go what? And then I had to talk to my therapist and I go is it possible that my fears and her fears, or your fears, are all the same on the same platform? So the things that I am scared of are equal to the things that you're scared of. So that that quote comes in handy when you go.
Speaker 3:Comparison is the death of gratitude. When you start comparing what you're going through and what that person's going through and you compare it, you're always going to be like, oh my god, my life is so much worse. Dude, what people are going through in in their life right now. I tell them, please don't dumb it down. I tell my recruits all the time because they look at me and I I love that they say this because I know it comes from a good place, but I'm like I can't fucking complain. You have no legs. So when I think about not running, I see you running and I'm like, no, no, no, don't do that. If you have an ankle injury or if you have an knee injury, I'm very blessed I had legs. I know how difficult that is to go through Recovery from a knee injury, a pulled muscle. Dude, I'm a human being. Like I get it, it hurts, it sucks, and that means that that's your worst day and that is the thing that you have to worry about and focus on and what you're going through. You know you're having nightmares. You're having difficulty through divorce.
Speaker 3:Look, I went through a divorce myself. My parents went through a divorce. My older brother went through a divorce. I hate that.
Speaker 3:It's not a positive thing, but I can tell you that if there's anybody listening to this right now and they're like my life is done, I'm going through divorce, I'm going to lose everything, I'm not going to be able to see my kids. Look, it took time, it took years before my ex-wife and I were able to be amicable and good for our daughter and mature and grow up and go. Hey, us fighting over this is not going to help the situation and our child needs to have a good, healthy relationship with us so that she can be healthy and positive herself. Right, and we're trying the best that we can with what we got. But people are like, oh, I'm going through divorce, my life is ruined, and I'm like, dude, you can't do that.
Speaker 3:Look at all the people in life who have been through a divorce and they're okay. Is it going to take time? Hell yeah. Is it going to be hurtful? Hell yeah. Are you going to be broke for a little while? Hell yeah, you know, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel, you know. So I would just tell the people that are listening surround yourself with people who love you, who care for you and who genuinely have your back. You know cause life is tough enough as it is and it happens to kids a lot. You know kids. You know because life is tough enough as it is and it happens to kids a lot. You know kids get wrapped up in the bullying and this and that, and I'm 35 and you're 40.
Speaker 2:And we still see that shit.
Speaker 3:We still putting us down, people putting other people down? I won't, I won't do it. I'm in a room with somebody talking shit about somebody else. I go, hey man, you should tell that person that to their face, and I just walk out because I don't even want to be a part of it. No, I'm not perfect. I still laugh at jokes that are probably inappropriate and I still go, oh yeah, that guy is an asshole, but I don't put into it. You know like people are dealing with shit every single day and again, like Robin Williams said, you know nobody's faking sadness. So if you see somebody down, the last thing they need is you putting them down when they already have a bad circumstance to begin with Absolutely, and it's one of the things I tell my kids too is don't ever let anybody tell you that your feelings aren't valid.
Speaker 2:What you are experiencing and your feelings that you have are valid. What you do with your feelings and the resources that you lean on and use is the important part. Make sure that you know that they're valid and that's okay as long as we, as other people and humans, have compassion and we know that they're valid and that's okay as long as we, as other people and humans, have compassion and we know that they're human and we can help validate those. At the same time, what can we do to help those others? You know? No, it's a very good message. I appreciate you sharing all that. You know. It's obviously you've been on your own journey for quite a while when it comes to the positivity side of things. You know, and, and you continue to live that. You know, and, and you continue to live that you know by serving as a police officer. You know not your, your service could have been done. You know, in that capacity with the military, but transitioning out of there, you continue to serve. You know, and what got you into police work?
Speaker 3:Just like any other police officer that's probably listening to this. I was in the military before. It's just like the same service, you know, like it's kind of what we know. I mean some people might call it stupid, like you don't know how to do anything else. It's not that I know I'm intelligent, I know I could do something else, but just wearing the uniform, having that pride, being able to be a part of a team, those things are important to me. They're kind of my foundation, so it's very difficult to veer off, but that's why I'm involved in so many different other things too, besides just police work.
Speaker 3:Know, I tell people all the time I mean, please don't only have cop friends. When you're a cop, you know right, have people that still humble you, that bring you back down to earth, that let you enjoy things outside of the military and the police. Because let's be honest, like there's a lot of reward in doing what we do but there's also a lot of trauma that comes with it. You know, secondary trauma is a real thing and when you're going to to suicides, homicides, car accidents, babies dying and suffering. And we're all EMTs in my department, so we're going to all the aided stuff too, and so you see a lot of bad stuff in life and it almost makes you numb to these things and eventually people are like what the hell is wrong with you? No, what the hell is wrong with us as a society is that we're normalizing being able to be healthy and happy, you know, without doing shit about it.
Speaker 3:No, I could tell you what my regime looks like. I have a support group, I have a therapist, I go to church, I have a podcast. I started a nonprofit organization that helps veterans and first responders get back into physical fitness. I surround myself with things that I know make me feel good. I started reading for the first time in my life, bro, I just started finishing books that I actually do on my own. I started diving into mental health how to be positive and negative outcomes, how to sit in this uncomfortable pain. You know how many times I've yelled at recruits for five years get comfortable being uncomfortable, and then it's like I don't even know how to do that at times.
Speaker 3:You know, you get anxiety and you feel like the internal tremor. You feel like you wake up with that pit in your stomach. You have intrusive thoughts, you start sweating. You didn't sleep good. You're like on your phone all damn day long. You know swiping, swiping, swiping, because you're trying to get this like serotonin fix and you're like what is wrong with me? There's nothing wrong with you. Your body's doing what it's supposed to do to keep you safe and keeping you from losing your damn mind. You know.
Speaker 3:So when I started doing all these things is when I was like, hey, man, you're on the right path Doesn't mean I'm there. I'm far from it and I hope that I continue to do things that make me happy and keep me healthy. But there's days that I have that I'm just like I can't do anything right today I can't do any breathing exercises, I can't meditate enough, I can't pray enough to feel good, you know, and I got to stop chasing that feel good feeling because that's not normal. So that's what we have to normalize. We have to normalize. We are freaking human beings. We're designed to feel sadness, happiness, you know. Fear, anything that comes with the human, you know conditioning. We have to normalize that and I think that the more we do that, the better we get. That's why you keep seeing all these Instagram videos of these young what do they call them? Influencers? These young influencers are making these cute little videos of, like they're swimming and then they're at the gym and then they're reading a book and then they're journaling.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I got that, you know, and I hope that they genuinely went through a tough time for them to be there and they're not just blowing smoke up people's ass. You know like, hey, this is why I read, because it calms me down. Hey, this is why I run, because it takes my mind off the the thoughts. Hey, this is why I meditate, because it brings me closer to my feeling. Like, whatever reason you're doing the things you're doing, it's kind of what heals you. It wasn't until I started, like I said, reading books. So I was like that's odd. It's almost like I wrote this book. You know, this complete stranger from 1958 is writing the same things that I'm thinking and feeling or going through, you know. So that's where I started appreciating reading.
Speaker 2:No, it's good and you have chosen the path that does not let you hold back on these things and with being the amputee and doing the marathons that I list. How many marathons have you done now?
Speaker 3:I've never done any full running marathons. The farthest I've run is half marathons. I've done multiple marathons, that's more than I've ran.
Speaker 3:Well, still, for me it was part of the recovery process. You know you wouldn't catch me right now running a half marathon or a marathon. Back then I was 160 pounds and I had something to prove. You know that I wanted to start running and want to get back into that Marine Corps shape. Now I'm like you know what I'll go for with the dogs or my wife. Nice, beautiful today was here in long island. It was 75 degrees, sunny, the trees are orange, yellow, red, green. I'm like, oh yeah, this is beautiful. You know, like I'd rather do that than go running, but I still run from time to time, just the to keep me in the shape, to to. You know, at least show that I'm leading by example, to the to the younger generation, you know yeah, no, it's phenomenal, and I feel you.
Speaker 2:You know, this time of year is amazing getting out in the fall, seeing all the colors, getting that crisp, cool air going in oh yeah, it resets the soul. 100, absolutely. So the police force, though. So you decided to go to the police academy and, uh, were there any difficulties there that you went throughout that entire training?
Speaker 3:oh man I gotta be my department. I'm not trying to blow up many blows, theme up their ass or anything, but they were so supportive, you know, from the get go. I showed up with my prosthetics and they were like, whoa, hey, you got a like a letter or something saying that you're physically fit to be a police officer. I'm like, yeah, look, the VA gave me this letter saying I'm good, you know, because all my injuries were healed, except, you know, obviously, the prosthetics.
Speaker 3:My legs are not going to grow back, but they knew that the VA was going to be paying for my prosthetics, so they didn't give me any crap about that. So when I was meeting the expectations, you know, I was running the mile and a half in 11 minutes. I was doing my push-ups and my sit-ups, I was doing all the role plays, I was in the classroom, I was passing my, my, my classwork stuff. They didn't really have much to say except like, hey, dude, we're proud of you, you know. So I went to patrol and that was great. I had a really good time. The only challenges were not really challenges, but just uncomfortable is getting in and out of our some of our old police cars. When I started patrol we still had the Crown Vicks and we had some of the Ford whatever those are called the cars.
Speaker 2:I know what you're talking about, Whatever those are the Ford Taurus.
Speaker 3:What is it? The Taurus Taurus? Yeah, the Ford Taurus. They're very low and I'm 6'1" and 230 pounds. So it's kind of difficult for me to kind of like get so low, especially when I drive a pickup truck. No-transcript difficult, it was just a challenge. That going from my pickup truck to now this car was kind of like weird Because I am a below the knee amputee.
Speaker 3:Driving with my prosthetics is not very difficult. If you're above the knee it can be a little bit more challenging, but I still have my knee so I can still push the pedals with no problem. I still run, I still jump over fences, I still would have to do foot pursuits and whatever else. I think the mind kind of takes over and you forget that you're even amputee half the time. You know, I mean obviously in the morning. As an amputee it's a little bit more difficult in the morning because your your limbs swell up a little bit, so it takes a little longer to get in inside the prosthetics. But when I'm in I'm pretty comfortable.
Speaker 3:I have a good team of prosthetists that build all my prosthetics and, um, there is an article out on fox news that when I graduated I didn't even notice. I said it, um, but they were like, hey, what happens if you break a leg and I go? Well, I go on the trunk of my car, I grab a new leg and I'm back on duty. You break your leg, you're out for like six months or a year, and so it was kind of funny. You know, trying to shed some light on the whole amputee thing, um, but I've been very fortunate on my prosthetics have ever broken down on me or if I ever have any issues I go to my guy and he's got me going in the same day.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, I would say that if it's something that you want to pursue, obviously I know every agency is different, but I know there's two other amputees that I know of at least that are double amputees, on patrol and doing their thing, and they actually were on my. They're on my amputee softball team now it's called the USA Patriots and we travel the country and a lot of the teams that we play are law enforcement officers. So they're like, dude, you guys are in great shape, why don't you guys become cops? And that's kind of a little bit of what inspired me to go into law enforcement.
Speaker 3:And then these guys ended up doing the same thing. One of them is a cop in Fort Worth, texas, and the other one is upstate New York. I've met other people through social media that go hey, I'm also a single below the knee, or I'm an arm amputee or I'm a this, and I'm like dude, how freaking awesome is this? You know that people are either A going into the police department as an amputee or B they were injured in the line of duty on their duty as law enforcement, and they're going back to work. You know.
Speaker 2:I was like mind blown. You know that's, that's incredible. Yeah, no, I got a lot of admiration for you and your drive. I'll give you that. You know, I know that I've had difficult days and I'm very impressed with your drive and it's inspirational to others. It's fantastic. And you know, I actually was introduced to you through Aaron Slater. It seemed he's a very common name that comes out of my mouth on our podcast. Getting to meet extraordinary people.
Speaker 3:There's a relentless defender tattoo man. I love that guy, aaron.
Speaker 2:I know he is such a good guy. I actually had him on the podcast yesterday at the National Law Enforcement Memorial Fund, which will air later in the season. But you know, one of the things that we talked about was Police Week, and have you had a chance to go to Police Week?
Speaker 3:I did. I went with Aaron and Danny, you know, his wife and uh and his family and we set up the tent and I got the experience that whole tent city and go to the Memorial and you know we we did a gala or, like people in Texas would like to say, gala, um, you know. So that was pretty cool.
Speaker 2:You know that was a very good experience. Yeah, no, he's a. There are standup people, him and his wife and the organization, his department not department, but his company as a whole and what they do for police officers and first responders is very stand up and it's, it's, it's. I'm very blessed to know them, just because I get to meet people like you who have a very inspirational story and the things that you've done in your career.
Speaker 4:And this one's scary 66% of Americans would struggle to pay for a thousand dollar emergency. We don't keep any money in the savings accounts, right? The scary part about that is that 8 out of 10 of us watching this right now are going to experience a $5,000 whoopsie every 10 years. Something's going to happen. Kids are going to break a leg and there's going to be out-of-pocket max medical that year. Right, there's going to be a hell storm or a fire or some kind of a natural disaster that causes us to have to write a big old check for our deductible for the roof replacement or the car. Right, Something's going to happen. And I want you to think back to the last time you had a financial emergency. Was it the event that caused the stress or was it trying to figure out how to pay for the event that caused the stress?
Speaker 2:So what are some of the highs and?
Speaker 3:lows that you've experienced throughout your your police career.
Speaker 2:Honestly, it's like a pretty positive guy and you find the positivity.
Speaker 3:So no, obviously I mean there's a lot of highs. You know the highs are being out in the community and when I was on patrol, like you're able to kind of connect with the public a little bit more with with sympathy and empathy. And there have been times where I've met kids in school especially, like I'll have one of the SROs, one of the school resource officers, call me and go hey man, there's this kid with prosthetic and I was telling her about you on patrol and she'd love to meet you and I'd meet, like this girl that is a double amputee and she's playing basketball and you're almost like shedding light on each other's stories and you're connecting with the public. I've also been able to do some some pretty cool stuff, you know, with bad circumstances. You know I've had moments where I arrested let's call it a gang member or something, and then they find out who I am and they go dude, you got mad respect and stuff, and it's almost like I just locked this guy up and now he's saying thank you for my service. That's pretty funny, you know. But you're able to connect with the public to a different atmosphere because they almost see you like hey man, thank you for your service and they don't just see you as a cop, they see you as somebody who served the country and that kind of came first and I'm able to just talk to people, like when I go to domestics, you know, and there's a fight between a husband and a wife and I go listen, man, I've been through here. It's tough, it's difficult. Hang on in there, you know. Give each other a little space. Maybe pack a bag, go spend the night somewhere, let things cool down, you know. So I can almost speak a little bit from experience and that's very helpful.
Speaker 3:You know, some of the lows are unfortunately some of the calls that we go on. You know they're tough. I don't think we shed enough light on the tremendous work the law enforcement officers, paramedics, you know EMS, firefighters they go through every day. You know we go to see some of the worst calls in our lives and then we have to come home and pretend everything's perfect with our own families and sometimes that's not the case. I'm trying to normalize it, at least, you know, with my guys, like, hey, there's going to be days where it's tough, you know what, instead of you going home and blowing up on your family because you've had such a long day? How about we learn how to deal with our emotions? Hey, honey, I had a tough day. I'm going to go for a walk, I'm going to get a workout. When I come back I should be reset. We'll help out. How do we talk to our significant other? How to let the other person know I know you're stressed and I'm stressed too. Can we talk about this later?
Speaker 3:There's things that I've had to learn, unfortunately the hard way, because I have been through a divorce that going out drinking with the boys till two o'clock in the morning after you had a fight with your wife and you have a newborn is not the way to do it. I've also been in the culprit of screaming and yelling at the top of my lungs because I'm out of patience. I'm at the wit's end. I now have to go back to work in three hours and the last thing I want to do is argue about what's for dinner. You know or why I didn't do this or why I'm not doing that, or why I haven't kissed you goodnight in three nights. You know like I'm trying to do a better job at helping guys go.
Speaker 3:Hey, how about we normalize you saying to your spouse I need a little bit of help. I need a little bit of support, instead of ignoring them and then getting upset at them when they're upset at us because they don't understand what the hell we're upset about. You know, and this is going to be a 20 year, 25, 30 year process with your significant other, because if you don't tell them now, you're going to get to 20 years of your police career, which you also been married for 20 years and you also had kids that are now leaving high school and going to college. And now it's you and your significant other at home and you have no idea how to work out problems. So I've been trying to normalize therapy. Speaking to a therapist really does help to kind of get your voice and then understand the other person, because my wife and I would get in arguments and I'm like you don't listen, you don't understand, you don't talk, you close off, and these are things that we need, like a third party, to kind of help us meditate. You know, on the good things in your marriage, right, and things are rough right now, but they can get better if you do this, you know.
Speaker 3:But a lot of times we're just like well, if she doesn't want to listen, or if he doesn't want to listen, then I'm not listening, and that's not a way to fix the marriage. And that's another thing that I wish my parents would have kind of prepared me for a little better. My parents made it seem like their marriage was freaking Disney, a Disney movie. And I swear to God, chris, when I got married I thought that there would never be any problems. All the issues that I had in my marriage were like well, we're not married, I want a ring, I want a house, I want a kid. And it's like, when you have the ring, you have the house, you have the kids, and there's more problems. You know, so you're like what the fuck?
Speaker 3:I gave you the ring. We got married. I don't go out anymore, I don't do anything. You resenting the other person isn't going to make your marriage better, you know. And then I'll just again. I forget who wrote the book. I recommend it to the recruits a lot.
Speaker 3:Five Languages of Love. You know, I don't know if you ever. It describes how we all love and receive love differently. So I was like well, men, we have two love languages. Typically they say there's two, right, most men have physical touch and words of affirmation. Why? Well, sometimes it goes. The childhood my mom was very hands-on, like hugs, kisses, good night. You know, I love you, you look handsome, I'm proud of you, I love your haircut. And then you get married, you get a haircut and your wife doesn't say shit. You know, I love you, you look handsome, I'm proud of you, I love your haircut. And then you get married, you get a haircut and your wife doesn't say shit, you know? Or you lose 10 pounds and your wife doesn't say shit. So now you're receiving uh, what is it? Um, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Um, you're getting like positivity from other people, right, you're getting noticed by other friends or whatever, and you're like damn, like Chris or John or Jessica noticed my haircut. Why the hell does my wife do it?
Speaker 2:Well, you guys have been talking for three months.
Speaker 3:So I'm pretty sure the last thing she wants to do is tell you you look handsome after your stupid haircut. You know, I think that you learn about these love languages. Like you know, quality time Most women want quality time and acts of service. What does that mean? If your wife is anything like mine? Right, she's a nurse and she works 13, 15, 16-hour days and also does have to deal with, unfortunately, death and other rough days for her. Her love language is for me to maybe have the house tidied up a little bit.
Speaker 3:You know, take the trash out to the curb, make sure the dogs are taken care of, the animals are fed, that my kid is ready to go, did homework, laundry's done. You know like these roles have to be kind of, especially if both people are working. It makes it for a better function at home, rather than me coming home and going Nope, I had a rough day, I'm not doing the laundry, I'm not taking shit out. So now you're sick and make another comes home and all these things are done and now you're wondering why you're not intimate or why she's not telling you she loves you, because she's upset and doesn't even know how to tell you because it's going to start a fight, you know.
Speaker 3:So when I started reading that book through therapy, it was like, wow, like all right, I can get some work done here in my, in my, in my partnership, you know. Yeah, well, my wife now we're yeah, we still argue, we still disagree on certain things, but we have come so much closer, you know, than we were before for recognizing that, hey, we're different people and my wife could care less if I tell her she's beautiful or I'm sure there's somewhere in there that she wants to hear it but she rather have the laundry done and I get that. I'm like all right, cool, like it's done, baby, whatever you need.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's like sometimes I'm not great about buying groceries for the family, but that does go a long way and you've got to figure out what that happy medium is and actually consciously take that action is huge. But also being self-aware and knowing those things is also significant and that's going is also significant and that's going to be helpful. I've been divorced too and I'm remarried, so not uncommon ground that we've both been on. But we both get that. You know and you learn a lot from those mistakes and the things that you did in your previous marriage and you hope that you learn from them and can strengthen the next relationship. And you know it's, it's, but, but still it's always a learning process. When you stop learning, that's when things are bad.
Speaker 2:But no, very, very, very good words of the wise for other people who are especially people who are young, law enforcement officer, even military, you know just first responders, probably in general too, you know, uh, the jobs are taxing and they aren't difficult and you know taking some things home with you is okay, but it's what you do with it again, you know and I've I've told my wife plenty of times where I was in an incident at work and then I had to go to a birthday party for a family member and I'm not. I'm physically there, but mentally not, you know. But understanding that and what you do with it and communication is huge in that aspect too, being able to be open and talk about those things. And if you shut down and don't say anything, maybe there is a time and place for that, but you got to get out of that too, because if you just stay there, it's not going to help anything.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean, I don't know if you can tell, I'm sure you can, but when I speak I get very passionate about the things that I'm saying because I know that they've helped me and I know they've helped some of my friends. And you know, it does lose its value, especially as an instructor. I see it in the recruits. When they first came in the first month they were like damn, that dude's a badass. Now they just treat me like a regular Joe. You know, like it, like certain words unfortunately do not get you going past a certain level. Like maybe you listen to this podcast and then you hear me talk on the next topic and you're like, oh, here goes Matt again. You know, and I see that from some of my colleagues and my friends, and that's why it's important to have good friends, because they will humble you.
Speaker 3:You know, I don't act like I know everything. I do struggle with trying to find some kind of perfection in who I am and it's not normal for you to try to be perfect. Like you said, you're constantly going to gain weight, lose weight. You're constantly going to be happy with who you are and unhappy with who you are. You're constantly going to be happy in your marriage, unhappy in your marriage. You're constantly going to be happy with your kid and unhappy with your kid. My daughter said something about driving in eight years and she goes daddy, in 10 years I'm going to be 20, almost 21. So maybe we can have a drink together, just like that, casually. She goes how are they going to be dad? I'm like I'm going to be 46 years old. Like that's mind blowing to think that in 10 years I'm going to be 46 years old.
Speaker 3:You know, and you think about your parents, like my dad. My mom and my dad are both in their 60s now, but I remember being her age, thinking my dad and mom were like 30-something years old. I'm in that stage now where I'm 30-something years old and I'm thinking about being 46 in 10 years. It's like, oh my God, so I'm always going to have a purpose to be better, do better. I gained like 10 pounds in the last two months from traveling, like I said, to Greece I went to a bachelor party in Asheville, my wife. From traveling, like I said, to Greece I went to a bachelor party in Asheville my wife and her and her parents. We went to Vegas, you know. So it was like enjoyment.
Speaker 3:Now, thanksgiving's coming, so I'm like trying to get some of this stuff and it's like, dude, it's okay, it's okay to gain a few pounds, but just always go back to what you know walking, drinking plenty of water, trying to get good sleep, going to a sauna. If you can Talk to people Honestly, I think that makes a huge difference. Because when people ask me, how the hell are you so happy? You have no legs, you have so many reasons to not be happy, I go well, number one. I'm going to say it's God, my religion thing is like that's important to me. I don't really push it on people, but I think it's important to know what my reason is for why I think my life is a little different than some people. You know, and I also tell us that don't be upset or don't be ashamed that maybe you haven't had to be there.
Speaker 3:Some people have never had a reason to have God in their life. You know, some people went to church because they were told when they were younger and they left it. You know, because they're like, well, I don't really want to go and I don't want to sit there and talk, but I go to a community church. You know, it's a non-denominational Christian church. So you know, we believe in Jesus, we believe in God. Unlike the Catholic church, we don't go to confessions and we don't go up to the priest to receive the Eucharist or whatever, but we still do receive the body of Christ and whatever else. But my church, my pastor, is also divorced. He talks about how ashamed he was for a long time and how it took him to recover from that, to become a better pastor. And when I heard those things come from him I'm like I can relate to this guy, I can relate to the scripture, I can relate to some of his trials, you know. And I felt like going to a Catholic church. As much as I believe in religion and I believe in the Catholic church and Christianity and Buddhism or whatever it is you believe in, I respect it.
Speaker 3:I couldn't understand a priest. I couldn't understand that. How the hell does he know what it's like to go through issues of marriage if he's not even allowed to be married? How does he know that there's issues of this and that when he's a priest he's got God in his pocket? And then I realized that we all have God in our pocket. We all have Jesus Christ, we have a Bible. You can go buy a Bible and start going through the Bible and everything you're going through right now. You can highlight pretty much the whole Bible. You're going through trials about anxiety. Anxiety is in there. You're going through, like you know, losing a loved one it's in there. Grieving, it's in there. Everything's in there. So I'm like it's a book that's been around for a very long time and if it was a lie then I'm pretty sure somebody would have been like you know people don't keep retelling lies for centuries, you know.
Speaker 3:So somebody at some point in time would have been like, hey, that Bible's lie, we're going to throw this thing out, let's move on. You know, it showed. People talk about science and history. I mean, I just learned this as an adult. There is history, it's known as a fact. There was a man named Jesus who looked like what he looked like and was six foot whatever and was of the Jewish descent, and there's no question about that. What people question is was he the Messiah, was he the son of God? Like that's what people argue, but there is proof. There was a man in Jesus and all these things happened. So for me, I'm like I get passionate. I'm like, yeah, dude, just ask people, read about it, you know. So that's what I try to do in my life. I know that I come off very positive, but I have my days where I need my group too. You know I need my wife.
Speaker 2:I need my friends to kind of like get me out of that rut of life and whatever else. And as long as I remember that I think it really does. And you know from being, you know, immigrating to the United States, joining the Marine Corps, going through the things you've been through, I mean you're a true American, my friend, and I really appreciate you.
Speaker 3:I really appreciate you too, man, and thank you for what you've done and for your service. And thanks for the platform, man, because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be able to share my story. If it wasn't for people like you, other veterans and, you know, people like us would not have that outlet, you know. So what you're doing is important, you know again, I'm not trying to put or promote myself out there, but you know, if you want to listen to the podcast, we have a podcast. You know.
Speaker 3:Another cop's mentality is another guy who was in the Air Force is the first sergeant. He actually just got out. Another cop's a, a police officer on a university police um, and we just we're all three married, all three of us have kids. We all graduated the police academy together and we really just talked about some of our struggles that we went through, just like you and I are doing um.
Speaker 3:So a lot of people really hate podcasts or hated podcasts because they're boring at times.
Speaker 3:It's it's kind of if you're not going through things that we're talking about right now, you have no reason to be listening to podcasts.
Speaker 3:But this podcast is going to be up, you and I talking for hopefully a very long time on Spotify, itunes, wherever they can listen and whenever they need it, and they look up anxiety, they look up outdoors, they look up whatever this is going to be here for them, and I realized that that's important that our message might not be important right now and it might not be important to somebody tomorrow or the next day or next week or next month or next year. I'm listening to Joe Rogan's episodes from like three years ago just right now, you know. So sometimes it's being patient and knowing that the message that you're putting out there might not be important to somebody right now, you know, but I'm hoping that somebody listens to this and goes. I have a little faith, you know. I gained a little bit of hope knowing that there's two guys right there that went through divorce, that were in the military, that went through their trials, and I'm sure that when I start listening to your podcast, you have your story out there, some of the things you've been through.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, no, it's, it's out there. There's always more to come too, you know, because life never stops and it's OK to share it, absolutely, absolutely. So say again one more time what your podcast is Another.
Speaker 3:Cops Mentality. It's on Spotify, apple Music, iheartradio, it's everywhere. It's new. We just started it like a couple of months ago, so there's only like 12 episodes, but right now we're bringing on first responders, military, their spouses, and we're also getting a lot of people saying, hey, love your podcast, but not enough females are putting their perspective. We'd love to hear that. I'm like hell, yeah, I would love to hear more females.
Speaker 3:But unfortunately every person that I reach out to is like, ah, I don't really want to talk, I don't want to do this. So then what we did was like kind of forced our wives to come on and talk. So the first one was Angel's wife, and she talked about their struggles like raising three children and one of them's in college. Now another one's going through this. Then we brought my buddy Brian's wife, kara, who talked about postpartum depression and some of the things that she went through with him going into the police department and how it was impacting their marriage and how they kind of gotten better at it.
Speaker 3:And I have a lot of other women right now I'm just trying to work out schedules where they want to share their experience from a world of a paramedic or a police officer or some things that they struggle with. I have one of my good friends. She just got done battling cancer as she was graduating the academy lost all her hair, and how did she deal with that. So these stories are really important number one because they're therapeutic to the person telling them, but they're very helpful and a source of, you know, inspiration for the people that are going through the same thing. You know now or have gone through that, or can you know, listen to somebody like that. Talk in the future tense.
Speaker 2:I love it. No, it's awesome. So, yeah, check out his podcast. If anyone wants to get a hold of you or talk about things in the future with you, how can they do that?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so they can reach out through the podcast Instagram. It's another hospitality, and my personal Instagram is public. I try to post stuff out there that you know involves my everyday life. I don't really take just the good pictures, you know, I take some of my bad days too hey, I had a bad leg day, or I dealt with this.
Speaker 3:Or I try to post stories of inspiration and things that I see on social media that are positive, because it's easy to see negative stuff on social media and for a long time I got off of it. I just kept deleting the app and getting back on it because it is an addiction. But I'm like man, there's so much positive stuff out there and I'm the one who's in charge of what I see. So I try to stop watching all the negative stuff and start looking at people's stories that are, you know, going through things and makes us better human beings. So, um, my personal Instagram is just, uh, indeed, USMC. So, uh, I'm sure you could probably tag it somewhere, but they can just send us a message or you know whatever, and I'm sure at some point I'll post something too with our interaction with your podcast Awesome.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, thank you for being here. Thanks for taking time out of your day. I know we have busy lives and I really do appreciate you taking the time to speak with us and hopefully the listeners can go and follow your podcast as well, and we look forward to speaking with you more in the future and hopefully we can do some follow-up podcasts in the future and hopefully we can do some follow podcasts in the future, dude.
Speaker 3:Thanks a lot, man. I really appreciate. God bless you and I hope that this uh this helps your uh, your organization as well yeah, absolutely so for our listeners.
Speaker 2:Uh, again, this is matias ferreira. He's a usr I'm sorry, a us marine corps, sorry, almost messed that up. All good, a veteran that uh was blown up while he was in afghanistan as a police officer out in the New York area, and very inspirational story. But you know, as you can hear from him, that he has a journey that he's been through and he's figured out what works for him and also are all human and have days that don't always work out the way that we want to. So but I just want to tell our listeners too, at the end of your podcast, we do talk about the fact that, you know, not all of us are going to have positive days and if you're feeling that you're down, there are many different avenues of resources out there to get your mental health assistance.
Speaker 2:With our field staff here at Hometown Hero Outdoors, we are trained in Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training, which is also known as ASIST. You can reach out to any of us on any of our platforms when it comes to either being on our website or social media. Reach out to us If you're having a dark day, we'll help you get through it. We are not mental health professionals, but we are a peer support group that will help you. However, we do have resources available to you or you can reach out to 988-988, which is a text message and or a phone call for the crisis line. But for that, thank you again, matias, for being here and for our listeners. We will see you again next time on the hometown hero outdoors podcast.
Speaker 1:Thank you the hometown hero outdoors podcast is sponsored by o'neill electric, the minnesota police and peace officers association, and relentless defender apparel. Thank you for listening to the hometown hero outdoors podcast. For more information, visit our website at hometownherooutdoorsorg.
